they all fall down
by chocolatedippingsauce
Summary: a series of disconnected vignettes that are always complete. /latest: the three times Gary tells Leaf he loves her and the one time she says it back. - leaf&gary
1. delineate

**This is more of a way to keep my inspiration for writing in check. And no, there is no specific or set genre (but they'll most likely be angsty-pangsty 'cause I'm a sadistic little carrot who can't get enough of it). Enjoy! Or don't... It's really up to you.**

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 **Summary: Underneath it all lay an unfathomable amount of darkness with only pretty, pretty petals and colours to conceal it. she wasn't safe to touch. - may &drew angst**

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 _Delineate_

Falling seemed to be what she was best at.

Not in love, of course, however ironic the situation deemed itself.

They called her a rose. Beautiful. Vibrant. Radiant. But it makes more sense in her head. May doesn't see the aesthetic vision that others do.

Because really, she is sharp and dangerous and damaged and they just can't see the pain behind her eyes. It is a vortex of despair, one that May Maple plunged into a long time ago. One that she continues to spiral further down with every passing moment.

The saying, 'every rose has its thorns', has never been more accurate, she believes.

For truly, she is everything and nothing at all. Colours have many meanings, she has been told, and none of them quite match up to represent what she was. Perhaps she was simply destined to be different. But she doesn't know how to classify, how to associate or assign a specific colour to her personality.

So, instead of matching herself with any one colour, she matches herself with roses instead. One for each person she knows.

Dark pink, white, yellow, lavender, light pink, peach, dark purple, orange... They were all a part of her.

Even Max, who she would hold a white flower to.

They shared blood and sweat and tears, but no matter how much they bickered May would never _never_ replace him for the world. She had many brothers, yes, but he was the only one that truly had any claim to the title. Max was pure and innocent and everything she had left far behind her a long time ago.

To May, though, there was only one colour that really mattered. The one rose that symbolised the most.

Blue. How coincidental, she thought, that his name even rhymed with it.

Drew.

Unattainable. Extraordinary (because really, he was). Often seen as an enigmatic mystery, complexity. A riddle unable to be solved. Impossible to come by naturally, a blue rose represents all that one wants and yet can never quite grasp.

He has always been all of that and so much more in her - now clouded, lifeless - eyes.

But, good qualities aside, if there was a rose for everything negative and bitter in this world then it also belonged to Drew Hayden. She would know. The history the two shared held so much depth, held that much more meaning, conveyed all of her (and his) very being. She loved them all, but he was the one who made the everlasting impact.

May supposed there was always black, but that analogised her more than it did him.

Not that any of it mattered anymore. He didn't love her. She didn't love him.

 _Shedidn'tshedidn'tshedidn't._

At one point in time, maybe. He had been something so much more. _They_ had been something so much more.

 _Somuchfuckingmore._

But that was then and this is now, and pretty flowers and colours of the rainbow weren't going to change that.

 _Theywouldn'ttheywouldn'ttheywouldn't._

That left red.

Red roses held no meaning anymore. In her eyes, they may as well have been black.

When it came down to it, May supposed she was an oxymoron of sorts.

The colour red is often associated with passion, igniting with immense energy at the peak of emotions that fuel adrenaline and all its elements. It is only fitting that a red rose is considered to be a direct representation of love. But, May's passion is not a pragmatic one, and this is something she accepted years ago.

The passion she leaks is not the positive kind, either. No. Not anymore. Now, the blinding energy May Maple radiates is one of agony, screaming and howling until her throat aches and she sinks to the ground because she simply cannot stand to carry on any longer.

Because, pushing the optimistic, carefree, lovable girl that the world sees aside, May Maple is nothing more than an illusion of the girl she used to be. Her coruscating exterior of red, a colour she had been so fond of in her innocent, oblivious youth, had become tainted. A mess of _staining blood_ and splotches of crimson and burgundy and carmine that she just cannot distinguish what is what anymore. Who is she, really?

Her thorns are no longer mere stubs with the slight chance of pricking a finger if not handled delicately, no.

They are overgrown, twisting and tangled within each other until the rose is no longer safe, no longer visible. But never once do they touch it. So much like her, so much like him. So much like _them_.

She is the delicate, frail flower that flows gently in the breeze, while he bears the thorns that snake and spiral around her; right there but constantly out of reach.

It's always _always_ just enough to _hurt_ but not to break. Words were painful, she had come to realize. Though she'd much rather those than for him touch her. She feared that if he was to give her even the slightest brush with the tip of his fingers that she would shatter.

He would never abuse her, no. The pain he inflicts isn't physical. It is emotional, and he knows it. And he is _good_.

Drew Hayden has always been good at everything and anything. This was no exception, despite the fact that she was the most important, the only thing he couldn't handle losing.

Those mocking spikes were always there, threatening but never once tearing her perfectly imperfect petals. She wasn't sure whether she really wants them _(him)_ to keep away. She supposed she was a masochist that way, too.

All the same, May never allows herself to get too near. Close enough to feel the pain, far enough to remain safe. Because she lets him be there but refuses him the right to sting.

It was at least a small victory on her part. To May, it was only fair. He seemed to win all of the other games they play.

It didn't make much sense, in hindsight.

Because if she was to fall she would simply crumble, and May Maple is not sure if she would be able to pick herself up after that. She knows that she certainly wouldn't have the strength to piece herself together again. Even so, she hasn't been whole for a long, long time.

Drew knows more than anyone that she won't be able to. He knows that strength is no longer part of her. After all, he was the one who allowed her to stumble over the edge in the first place.

Despite contrary belief, May was not foreign in regards to the concept of love.

At first, they were unbreakable. Burning and blazing with unmeasurable intensity and alight with something she could never quite pinpoint.

Things were different now.

They became tainted, stained like the countless letters for him now spotted with her tears. None were ever sent. She could never bring herself to. Their love blossomed and bloomed as vibrant as the roses he carelessly tossed at her, but it didn't last. No one thing in this world ever does.

Fate was cruel and love is as harsh as it was beautiful. Together, unpredictable. Their bond wavered and frayed and finally snapped. May and Drew only wilted, just as all of those precious flowers eventually did, too.

Black roses were all red in the beginning, anyway.

She won't deny that she still loves him, though. She doesn't think that will ever change. It was odd that so many compared her to something so pure. Pure yet deadly, she had discovered the hard way.

But if she is a rose, then it is he who stains her petals the colour of the night sky and blurs the line between love and insanity.


	2. third time's the charm

This was originally on my other account (in case you've seen this story before and were like "OMG PLAGIARISM") but I decided to switch it over. It's been removed from that account.

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 **Summary: The three times Gary tells Leaf he loves her and the one time she says it back.**

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 _Third Time's the Charm_

 **Lost ~**

It took them approximately seven and a half minutes to come to the conclusion that they were, quite possibly, in somewhat of a predicament. Initially meant to be an amazing opportunity for a weekend camping trip in the remote forest climate of Kanto, nobody had even thought about protesting when Professor Oak came up with the suggestion.

There was only one slight problem with their plans, however.

They were lost.

"Ugh!" Misty groaned, slapping a hand to her forehead before viciously glaring at the boy next to her. "Ash, I can't believe that you got us lost _again_!"

Said boy frowned as he stared at the piece of paper in front of him. He had been trying to make sense of it for the last half an hour on the ride there, and was completely confident in his ability to guide them to the campsite.

Unfortunately for him, his map-reading skills were about as good as his table manners, and they'd gotten about fifty steps from the vehicle before ending up in the opposite direction.

"Mist, it wasn't my fault!" Ash whined, twisting the map in his hands.

She rolled her eyes. _He_ was the one who had insisted on guiding them. _He_ was the one who couldn't read a damn map to save his life. _He_ was the one holding the map- oh for Mew's sake.

"Not your fault? Who's the one _holding the map upside down_ , genius?" Misty retorted, crossing her arms in an attempt to stop her twitching fingers from reaching for her mallet.

The two continued their bickering whilst the others decided it would be useless to intervene, and dispersed themselves in different directions. Paul, as usual, made himself useful by sitting on a rock to the side and glowering at a bit of isolated bark, as Dawn was productively complaining about how the humidity was going to ruin her hair.

Drew wasn't helping, either. The boy was currently droning on about their impending doom, pacing back and forth under an Oak tree, oblivious to the squirrel that had taken refuge on his head. May had immediately sprung into action by defending as much of their food supply as she could be either shoving it into her mouth or sitting on it.

The remaining two, however, were probably the only ones doing anything remotely useful to try and help their situation. Well, one of them was anyway. Leaf tucked a bit of hair behind her ear to get a better look at the maps she was kneeling over, trying to figure out where they were seeing as Ash clearly wasn't going to anytime soon.

If Gary hadn't of been so worried, he would have teased her about the pencil in her fingers that was threading curls in her chocolate brown locks. She never ceased to find ways that made her look adorable without even trying.

Not that he was paying attention or anything, of course.

"I've got it!" Leaf cried, jumping up excitedly and startling those who weren't in a screaming match or preoccupied with finding the nearest hair salon.

"A way out?" May questioned, instantly forgetting about the bird she had been growling at for getting too close to the noodles.

"No, Airhead, a vacuum cleaner," Drew remarked sarcastically.

"I-

"It's probably going to take a little longer," Leaf interrupted before Ash and Misty 2.0 broke out, "but we should be at the campground before dusk."

Gary grinned. "Leafy, you're amazing! I love you," he slipped out.

Everyone was silent and Gary went wide eyed, instantly turning beat red and formulating a plan to run for it and live life among the wilderness. Ash and Misty screeched to a halt in their argument, jaws dropping open while the now torn map fluttered to the ground.

Leaf, on the other hand, raised her head as she gathered the maps in her arms. "Did you say something?" she inquired, standing up from where her pencil had dropped, momentarily distracting her from hearing what he had said.

Gary breathed a sigh of relief, eternally grateful towards the pencil that had caused her to miss his confession.

"Um... No, it was nothing! Haha. Just uh, admiring the... scenery. Yeah, the scenery!" Gary laughed off sheepishly, rubbing the back of his head.

"Uh, Gary? We're surrounded by the most humid forest in all of Kanto, with the same view every way you look," Leaf pointed out.

"It's just, uh... So green. Gotta love how green it is! I love green. Not you green! Because your last name is green, but like, the scenery green. Not that I don't like you because you're my friend and all but I don't-" Gary rambled on as the others cringed.

Drew walked over to Paul with a smirk on his face. "Ha! Pay up, man. She didn't hear him _again_ ," he snickered, holding out a hand expectantly.

The Trainer grumbled something incoherent under his breath before shoving a few bills into Drew's outstretched hand.

 **Misinterpretation ~**

Dawn glared at Gary, wondering when he was going to put his pride aside.

"Honestly, Gary, why can't you just do it already?" she demanded.

The boy blinked in response. "Uh... do what?"

Dawn let out a frustrated groan. Why did boys have to be so damn oblivious? Actually, scratch that. _Ash_ was oblivious. Gary was just an idiot, plain and simple. And in denial. Very much in denial.

"Growing a pair and telling Leaf how you feel about her," she snapped, seeing his impending protest and adding, "while she is actually listening."

Gary sighed. "Hey, at least I tried. It's hardly my fault that she was more interested in that stupid pencil."

"Tried? That wasn't even intentional! You let it slip out without even thinking about it. There was no meaning," Dawn argued, putting both hands on her hips.

Misty took a bite of her cake and chewed for a moment. It would probably be easier to get Ash to understand the semantics of mathematical equations before getting Leaf to confess how she felt, so tormenting Gary was their best option. Then again, he was always a nervous wreck when it came to feelings.

"Maybe he just needs a little push," Misty finally suggested.

"What kind of a 'push' are we talking about here?" Gary inquired, half dreading the answer.

When it came to those girls, he never knew what to expect. But from experience he knew that nothing good could possibly come out of this. Maybe that idea about living in the wild wasn't so bad after all...

"Oh, I know!" Dawn piped up. "He just needs a bit of practice, so maybe if he were to try pretending someone was Leaf and confessing to them it might work?"

Gary choked on air. Practice? _No_. Hell to the no. Not gonna happen. It was bad enough playing the scenario out in his mind, so there was absolutely nothing any of them could ever say or do to get him to practice confessing to one of _them_.

The nightmares would never end.

"Oh, come on!" Dawn continued, "you're always boasting about how _The Great Gary Oak_ has no fears, so this shouldn't be a problem for you."

The boy turn to Misty for help only to be met with disappointment.

Misty nodded in agreement. "Sorry, Gare-Bear, but you're hopeless. If you can't even say it to one of us, we who are people that will love and support and ridicule you on a daily basis, then you have no chance of ever getting it across to Leaf."

Gary stammered, trying to come up with some reasonable excuse. Finding none, he quickly switched to attack mode. "Like you can talk! You and Ashy-boy would still be in the same position if Delia and Brock hadn't of left you both stranded in the middle of Mount Moon and said they wouldn't come back until one of you came cleann," he bit back.

Misty turned bright red, and sank down into a seat with her arms crossed and muttering something that sounded suspiciously like "still haven't gotten the squinty-eyed ass back for that".

"Anyway, I'm not being hopeless. It's just... timing," Gary insisted.

Drew raised an eyebrow. "Dude, you've had sixteen years to pick a time."

"Don't _you_ start," Gary groaned.

Dawn knew that Gary was a complete coward when it came to dealing with women, especially when he knew what they were capable of. Since he wouldn't listen to reason, it was time to bring out the big guns. She would get him to confess whether he wanted to or not.

"Gary," Dawn began sweetly. "If you don't do it, a certain collection of poems about a girl 'with eyes that sparkle like the emeralds in Glittering Cave' may appear in the papers."

He narrowed his eyes. "You wouldn't dare."

"Try me," Dawn challenged, giving him her best malicious grin. From the table Misty tried covering a laugh by chewing on a piece of cake and failing miserably.

Gary maintained his glare but eventually gave in, deciding that his pride would definitely be more wounded if his grandfather was to get wind of the sappy load of crap he had come up with. Or the League, actually. That wouldn't go down well when he went in for meetings.

The amount of shit he'd get from Lance for that would be unbearable.

"Excellent! Now, any volunteers?"

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"So, uh... _Leaf_ , it's certainly an um... a nice day today isn't it?" Gary began awkwardly.

Misty gave herself credit for not banging her head on the table. "Gary, this is supposed to be a love confession, not a weather report!"

"I'm trying!" he snapped. "It's not exactly easy to announce that you love someone when you've been keeping it a secret for years. Might I also mention that whenever I thought of confessing, I always pictured a _girl_ in front of me."

Drew huffed. "Well, excuse me."

Gary's eye twitched. This was hands-down the most humiliating thing he had ever been forced to do in his life, and that was including the time he and Paul lost a bet and streaked across a Pokémon Center.

He swallowed thickly and was pretty sure that half of his dignity went down too. "Leaf, there's something I need to talk to you about."

"Better," Dawn nodded in approval.

Drew cleared his throat. "Yes, Gary?" he answered in his best Leaf-like voice, fluttering his eyelashes for added humour. The two girls struggled to hold back their laughter at the scene taking place in front of them, and Dawn wished that she'd remembered to bring a camera.

"I've always cared about you and... Um... and well, thought of you as... a... Er," Gary stumbled.

Dawn scoffed. "Don't stutter, it's pathetic."

"I have to say that this is the worst confession I have ever received. Absolutely terrible," Drew added.

"Shut up!"

Misty flicked a bit of frosting at Gary and signalled for him to get on with it.

"Fine! Leaf, you are one of the most amazing people I have ever met. You're strong, brave, love sports, hate shopping, avoid pink-

"Are you confessing to a guy, Gary?" Dawn cut in, feeling a headache coming on.

Gary jabbed a thumb in Drew's direction. "Well, actually-

"Leaf isn't going to appreciate you saying something like that! She'd want you to compliment her personality or something that you really like about her," Misty told him.

"That's it!" Gary hollered, slamming one fist on the table and using the other to grab Drew's clothing."I love you, damn it! Why won't you return my feelings?"

Rather impressed with himself for actually managing to string together a coherent sentence, Gary turned to look at Dawn proudly. The moment he did, however, all of the positive feelings he had went down the drain. A feeling of dread and utter embarrassment overtook Gary as he wondered _how the actual fuck_ he was meant to explain this, because standing at the door was an astonished Leaf with her mouth wide open.

Gary gulped. She had definitely walked in at the wrong moment.

This couldn't have possibly been worse.

After several moments of awkward silence- during which Gary would have given almost anything to disappear –from every single person in the room, Leaf was the first to compose herself and start backing away.

"Um, I'll just... leave you two alone," Leaf said awkwardly.

Coming to his senses, Gary looked down and realised his right hand was still fisted around Drew's clothes. This was bad. No, scratch that. _This_ was the most humiliating experience of his entire existence. He yelped and immediately let go.

"Wait, no! Leaf, this is _not_ what it looks like!"

The remaining few watched in half amusement and half concern as Gary scrambled out of the room to chase after her, leaving a pregnant silence between them.

"So," Drew began once the tension had eased slightly, "can I get out of this dress now, or what?

 **Transfer ~**

"Leafy."

"Annoying pain in my side." Gary gave her a blank stare in response.

"Yes, Gare-Bear?" Leaf answered, not bothering to look up from the pile of clothes she was currently hovering over.

The boy had been sitting on her bed for the past ten minutes now and barely said a word. Quite honestly, that wasn't unusual for him. But today seemed different. He was more... withdrawn, she supposed?

"Leaf, is it true?" Gary asked quietly, so quietly she was barely able to hear him.

She tilted her head and looked at him in confusion. "Is what true?" she questioned back, holding up two shirts for closer inspection.

"That you're leav-"

"Which one do you think is best; the green or the blue?" Leaf interrupted, shoving the items into his face.

" _Leaf_ ," Gary said desperately, and she sighed, placing both shirts into an open suitcase beside her bed.

"What, Gary?"

He clenched his fists and winced, knowing that she only used that tone when she was annoyed. What right did she have to feel that way? _He_ was the one that she was hurting here.

How could Leaf do this to him?

"Why?" Gary whispered, casting his gaze at the floor. "Why are you doing this, Leaf?"

Normally, she would have snapped at him for being so abstract. Leaf really had no idea what the idiot was on about. All he had done was sit there in silence as she packed her suitcase, for Mew's sake! What was so bad about that?

"I don't know what you're talking about, Gary," Leaf eventually said back. What else did he want her to say? She knew that he only ever used her name when he was dead serious or upset, and as far as she was concerned he had no reason to be mad at her.

Right?

Gary clenched his fists, ripping his stare away from the floor to burn directly into her own eyes. "Leaf... You know exactly what I'm talking about. Don't act like you don't."

Leaf could only look at him in confusion. He gritted his teeth, gesturing with a nod of his head towards the suitcase on the floor.

She raised an eyebrow. "My suitcase? What about it?" Leaf inquired, frowning when he only scowled at her. "Gary, you're not making any sense!"

He threw himself off of the bed furiously and yelled, "what the hell is so hard to understand? How could you do this to me, Leaf? We're supposed to be best friends. You could have at least told me!"

Leaf glared at Gary, he was being completely unreasonable and she still didn't have any idea what his problem was. So she was going to Johto for a few days, big deal. Gary had no reason to scream at her for it.

"This has absolutely nothing to do with you!" she shouted back. "It's my decision to make, not yours. Why do you even care so much? You've never complained before."

He winced. Why did he care so much? Was she serious? "How can you say that?" Gary hissed, hurt evident on his face.

"I really have no idea what you want from me, Gary," Leaf said tiredly. Because really, she didn't. He was overreacting big time. If he was that pissed about her going away then he could just ask to go with her. Professor Oak wouldn't have minded at all.

It's not like she was going away forev- wait a minute. Oh. _Oh_.

Gary thought she was leaving for good. He thought that she was going to leave them and not come back. He thought she was running off without telling him.

The bloody _idiot_.

"Look at me, Leaf," Gary pleaded, grabbing her wrists and pulling her close.

"Gary, I think that you-"

"No!" He shouted, cutting her off desperately. "You can't leave, Leaf! You _can't_ just go and transfer, not if I have anything to say about it. You're my best friend, Leaf, and I need you here. You belong with us, here in Kanto! Please don't leave us. Don't leave _me_."

Gary didn't care that he was begging anymore. Hell, he was _pleading_ with her. None of that mattered, though, because if she was leaving him then there was no reason to even face the world anymore. She _was_ his world. She the only reason he even bothered with the whole arrogant, self-loving act. With her gone, what else did he have to keep going for?

"I love you, Leaf," Gary told her earnestly, looking directly into the stunned girl's eyes. Without giving her time to process his words, he pulled her right against him and captured her lips with his own. It wasn't anything intense, just a chaste yet sweet kiss that got Gary's point across. When they broke apart, the boy looked for any sign of emotion on her face, and felt the familiar anxiety in his chest when he could find none.

Leaf's eyes widened as the full blunt of what Gary was saying hit her, and her mouth parted slightly in shock. He had just kissed her. Gary Oak had just kissed _her_.

Leaf searched his saddened eyes for any sign of humour, anything to tell her that he was joking. When she found nothing but sincerity and longing, she smiled and moved so that her hands were now cupping Gary's cheeks.

"You really are an idiot, Gary. You know that?"

A cold flush washed over him. He kissed her and she was calling him an idiot. Oh no. Big mistake. What had he done? What if he'd ruined everything? Her leaving was one thing, but at least they would have still had their friendship. If Leaf went away and he'd completely shattered what they had...

"I'm not leaving the Academy," Leaf told him, watching in amusement and slight guilt as the boy's expression went from relief, to shock, to confusion.

"You're... you're not leaving?" Gary repeated, not being able to believe it.

Leaf shook her head. "Nope. Never was. Never going to, actually."

"What? B-but you... the suitcase... Drew said t-that…" Gary stuttered as the pieces finally clicked into place.

He was going to kill that sneaky little shit.

"I'm only visiting the school in Johto to help them out with some research for Grass Pokémon. I'll be back in a week," Leaf explained, trying not to laugh at the shock on his face.

Gary didn't answer her, he was to busy plotting Drew's death in his head.

"Really, Gary, how could you ever think that I would leave you behind? I love you, too," she confessed, standing on her toes to brush her lips against his.

Even if he'd made a complete ass off himself in the process, at least Leaf had listened to him this time.


End file.
